One thing that stuck with me from my conversation with my specialist was that he found it hard to give me options because of my singledom and also because of my proximity to New Zealand.
It took me explaining a few things to him before he really could see that maybe I knew more than I had let on or that I had more support and knowledge where I was, than if I was in New Zealand.
You see, when you live away from home, every situation needs to be approached differently. Whether it is how you buy your milk and what brand you use (for me it’s by speaking in Chinese, converting to long life milk for safety reasons and now my local store got rid of the New Zealand brand so it’s a switch to the Australian organic one), or how to get to the front of a line (for me it involves a lot of pushing, scowling at line jumpers, hands out actions to prevent said line jumpers and eyes on the prize), or even how you approach dating (Tinder anyone?!?, being 32 and at that age being called ‘too young to be in a committed relationship’ here and the great line of ‘You’ve got plenty of time’. Believe me I do not hear the echo of those sentiments coming from anywhere near New Zealand territory).
For me, now it’s how you go about approaching your fertility options. I was completely ignorant (and pretty much still am, every day brings new challenges, options and not to mention copious amounts of acronyms), and I thought that my only options were the 2 that were presented to me from my specialist.
Cue my mighty microcosm and what a microcosm it is.
Upon sharing my results (pre specialist), I was lucky enough to be open with and talk to some amazing people who I call colleagues and friends. Collectively, in just my work place, I had these experiences shared with me:
- Many instances of over 40 and conceived naturally
- Could not conceive so decided not to investigate and not have children
- Adoption the only option, decided to not do own pregnancy
- 4 miscarriages and 2 beautiful babies
- IUI resulting in triplets
- Over 40, IVF and 2 gorgeous girls
- 13 rounds of IVF, no luck and then adopted
- Single, IVF, 2 lovely boys
- Tracking ovulation, and pregnant
- Multiple instances of miscarriages
- Multiple instances of trouble conceiving/ being ‘too late’ to conceive
And this is just in my work place, not even other stories that they shared or that others have shared with me since.
I am so honored that people felt that they could share their stories with me and also so incredibly lucky that I am surrounded by people who can give me the big picture and truly understand what I am going through. They have helped me to see that there are many options to explore and many ways to become a mother.
As that is the one thing that I do know – no matter how or when, I will become a mother and it is through them empowering me and sharing their stories, that I now truly understand their words of positivity and encouragement.
It is not lost on me how lucky I am to know these people, to have them openly share their stories with me and to help me along the way. I realize, that if I wasn’t here right now I would have limited options due to confinement, cost and lack of knowledge and I am forever thankful for that and for being in the right place, at the right time.
I truly do count myself as one of the lucky ones. Without these people I would not be where I am in the process today and I cannot thank them enough for that. Nor do I take it for granted.
I now have more options than 2 to pursue because of my mighty microcosm and although overwhelming at times, I know I am very fortunate.
So, I will forge forward, full of hope and positivity and know that my mighty microcosm will be there to support me along the way…no matter which way I go.