Miracle?

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3 in 1 – 3 stimulants into one needle with 2 shaking hands. My handwritten explicit instructions in the background.

On my own and trying to deal with the cancellation of my cycle, traveling so far to no avail and taking the time off work to do it, to make myself feel better I took myself off to ‘shop until I dropped’and to try and process things.

Thoughts of what next, when, how and could I afford another flight and accommodation and would I have time within the time constraints of the year that I was given, flooded my head.  As it stood I may have been able to go back around our Chinese New Year holidays but that would mean more time off work and technically out of the optimum time frame given.  Did I even want to put myself through this again?  Was it a question of want or need?  When is the time you call it quits and look to option B?  What was option B for me?

Shopping helped push these thoughts aside and with a full week ahead of me until my flight and it still being school holidays I decided to take myself back to Agistri to stay at a place recommended to me by some friends to have some r’n’r, to let the situation sink in and to give myself a break from reality.  Pretty much eat, drink, walk and swim my sorrows away.

Before my 3 night escape I needed to face the music and go back for the dreaded blood tests and one last scan (I was getting very good at these now!), and what happened could not have been more unbelievable if I had made it up myself!!  Even 3 months on, I still can’t quite believe it!

The ‘Cyst of doom’ had caused my cycle to restart – it was Day 2 of my cycle! AND there were 4 follicles present, 2 on each side!  I’ve never even entertained the thought of miracles or though about if I believed in miracles but this came pretty close!

Everyone was in complete shock and surprise.  The follicles were all the same size, which has never happened before and this means that there was a good chance they would all progress together at the same rate.

The left side ones had a grey area (literally), around them so could still be the cyst, so I couldn’t afford to get my hopes up too much.

So, packed into my bag for the 3 day trip were a plethora of medications.  I was on 3 stimulants (within 1 injection), a day, 1 Clexane (my old injection friend – a blood thinner), 2 antibiotics, 1 steroid, 1 folic acid and 1 melatonin until the Friday!

You also won’t believe it, due to my fear of needles and my previous history at self administering (or being unable too), but I self administered my stimulants with nurse supervision (and shaking hand), so I was still able to go to the island and come back early Friday for the scan.  It’s amazing what shock and surprise can do for your determination.

When I returned on Friday, we would see if any were viable- best case 4, maybe 2 or worst case I fly home as planned on Saturday and try again another time.

I left the clinic in a daze and went back to my Airbnb massively in shock while madly trying to organise things ‘just incase’.  I had to email my Principal for more time off (not my favourite thing to do and something I am not comfortable doing as I felt awful because the school had been so good to me already), checking if I would be able to make changes to my flight (and how much it would cost), and trying to sort accommodation.  It was just so surreal.  I even started laugh crying to myself hysterically – luckily in private!

The next step was to not think about it too much and to see what Friday brought, all the while trying not to get my hopes up too high but keeping positive, while still being in shock.

So it was off to the islands laden with unexpected meds and injections I went!  Talk about a turn around.

2 thoughts on “Miracle?

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